Coffee Club Newsletter
Volume 8 No. 2 July 14, 1998

After a four-day intensive search, the Timid Reporter was located at a nightclub on Missouri near Copia, leading an accordion quartet in patriotic anthems and tangos. Tom had to fork over $145.00 to get him to conduct this interview on short notice and he said this nearly wipes out the surplus money in the Coffee Club account. He asked me to mention it. Anyway, the interview was done yesterday afternoon at a quarter past five, right here on the ninth floor.

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TR: Good afternoon. Are you Rosa?
RG: Yes, come in. Sit here.
TR: Can we go where it's a little more private?
RG: Maybe we can try the Tech room. No, never mind, some of them are still there and they play that radio kind of loud. Let's go into Tom's office. He never locks it.
TR: This is OK. What are all these tickets?
RG: He plays the Lotto constantly.
TR: Is this legal?
RG: Where have you been?
TR: Over the weekend, I visited my old college professors at the University of South Kansas at North Dakota.
RG: That's not what I meant, but let's get started because I have to go to a nice party at the Radisson.
TR: OK. Could I have a beer?
RG: No. You can come to the party with me if you want but we don't serve beer here.
TR: Sorry. Could you get me a Coke from the machine?
RG: I don't make coffee, and I don't get Cokes.
TR: Oh, OK. Sorry. Let me ask you first, then, what prompted you to leave?
RG: Well, more money and less work. I started with a very nice and light work load here, but the more I learned, the more they expected me to do, and the more I did, the more they expected me to learn. What was I supposed to do, everybody's job? I single-handedly put the First Time Buyers Program together. As far as I could tell, Mr. Soto did half the work of the department and the other half was done by me. At the beginning, Lily would help me with extra stuff I had, but then she got selfish and said she was falling behind on her assignments and she had to concentrate on her work.
TR: Is that right?
RG: Well, I'm exaggerating a little bit.
TR: Why is it that everyone seems to be transferring to the Police Department or to the Public Service Board or to Legal?
RG: Where do you think all the tips and leads are coming from?
TR: From all those who have gone before you.
RG: That's right. About three quarter dozen already.
TR: But you don't sound bitter.
RG: What's the point in being bitter? I could tell you who's next but Cynthia would get upset at me.
TR: What do you mean?
RG: Ask me something else.
TR: I always ask everyone if they have a role model in the department.
RG: For me, it was Mr. Kennedy.
TR: Who?
RG: James, Jazz, you know, Mr. Kennedy.
TR: Oh, yes, I forgot. Kimberly mentioned him a lot, too. I have never met him.
RG: He is very discreet, very intelligent, quiet, mysterious, sophisticated, and very cool. He doesn't put on airs and pretend like a lot of people. He is the real thing. I regret I could never get the courage to ask him why he has a picture of his sister on his computer.
TR: He does?
RG: That's what they told me. Every girl has a crush on him but they're afraid to say it.
TR: Maybe because they're all married?
RG: I don't know, I don't want to talk about it.
TR: What about the rest of the staff?
RG: I don't care for anybody except maybe Blanca, Mr. Soto, Edna, and Debbie
TR: Do they still owe you vacation money?
RG: Yes.
TR: That explains that.
RG: Whatever. What's that?
TR: My digital camera. I got it after my second graduation from Eve Ning Sun College of Advanced Photography. I want to take a picture. Maybe they'll publish it.
RG: No way. The Newsletter's too cheap to publish pictures.
TR: Is this the Coffee Club Account ledger?
RG: I wouldn't know, I'm not a member. Maybe you shouldn't be looking at that.
TR: I'm sorry. I've always wanted to do some investigative reporting. I didn't know Mr. Tom was making so much money with the little Coffee Club. I wonder why he never wants to pay me.
RG: Stop taking those pictures.
TR: Just one more. This will make me famous.
RG: You'll never be famous.
TR: Why not? I'm taking this to the Wall Street Journal.
RG: You're just a timid little man.
TR: Yes, but my pictures will speak for themselves.
RG: They're insignificant. Just like you.
TR: You're picking on me. I can feel it.
RG: OK, maybe I am. I'm sorry. You go ahead and shoot all you want. It probably won't hurt anything. Who knows, you might become well-known someday. Remember me if you do, I let you take the pictures.
TR: Look at this.
RG: What?
TR: He has five numbers circled on this ticket. What does it mean?
RG: Hmmm…Those are the numbers that didn't get picked. Let me see the ticket.
TR: I don't know.
RG: Let me see it.
TR: OK, here. It was under the white towel.
RG: That's where he keeps the losing tickets.
TR: Why are you putting it in your purse?
RG: I recycle lottery tickets. I'm environment-friendly.
TR: It seems odd.
RG: Trust me. I used to take all the discarded contracts and blueprints home and recycle them - made a lot of extra money that way.
TR: Oh. Why don't you recycle all these other tickets here? There must be three or four hundred.
RG: If he saw them missing, he would get suspicious, don't you think?
TR: Yes, you're right. He won't miss just the one.
RG: I thought you were going to interview me.
TR: Well, yes. Let me see. Are you looking forward to your new job?
RG: I can't wait to get started. I have wanted to move up to Secretary II for ten years and the opportunity just never came up. Just like you. You have your Doctorate but it just hasn't done you any good because you don't know how to socialize. I didn't know until now, that friendship was just an idea, but socializing is where it’s at. It also seemed that change was the only thing that didn't change around here. Changes were the only constant. I’ve been told that where I’ll be working, things haven’t changed in forty five years.
TR: What?
RG: I'm just rambling. I'm looking forward to my party. Maybe I can get to the State Lottery office before....
TR: What?
RG: Five seconds of unforeseen circumstance can affect your life more than ten years of careful planning. Isn't that funny? Coincidence is the secret of life.
TR: I don't understand a thing you're saying.
RG: I can tell. I’ve read some of your other interviews.
TR: Do you have any regrets?
RG: The loan specialists always gave me too much to do. The one who thinks he's a Major General and the one who thinks he is an artist and the other one who doesn't alphabetize anything. They're all the same. And the lawyers, they think they can paint a house by just thinking about it. The basic problem for anybody is not only the how but the what.
TR: What?
RG: Yes, the what. You can drive a Lincoln Continental just as well down the wrong road as down the right road. We should not confuse the how with the what. Most people figure that as long as they’re on the wrong road they may as well be in a Lincoln rather than an Accord. I think that if you’re on the right road, it’s OK to be in a horse and buggy.
TR: You're philosophizing. I guess I always bring out the best in my subjects.
RG: Don't flatter yourself. You're not the only one who can cook.
TR: The cats taught me to cook.
RG: They even tried to teach me things they didn't know themselves. My priorities now will be things that are either painful or pleasurable.
TR: What else is there?
RG: I guess I'm a person of extremes.
TR: You chose an expensive and distant place for your luncheon.
RG: It's tomorrow. I'm making them pay for making me wait such a long time to transfer. I might not even show up. I have to go to the State Comptrollers Office.
TR: For what?
RG: To take care of some business. You don't have to know about it.
TR: You know, I’ve been playing in this accordion quartet....
RG: The answer is “no”, if you’re going to ask what I think you’re going to ask.
TR: I wanted to bring them to your luncheon. We can play some pretty nice old-style music.
RG: No, thank you. It’s very nice of you but I’m not into polkas and that kind of thing.
TR: We also do Beatles music and we’re practicing some hard rock, too.
RG: Who’s in your group?
TR: Some retired military guys and me. We play free of charge. You can come hear us some time. There’s lots of dancing and stuff.
RG: Like I said, maybe twenty years from now, I’ll be ready for you.
TR: Let me take a picture of you, at least.
RG: I really must be going. I don’t want to be late and there’s so much traffic.
TR: I can give you a ride in my Lincoln. I just bought it. 1988. State of the art.
RG: Sure, why not? Where did you park it? How much was it? Will you let me drive it? I’ve never been in a Lincoln. Is it better than a Lexus?

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Rosa’s lottery ticket paid her $24,869.00. She used some of it to buy a used Accord.