Coffee Club Newsletter ©
Volume 18, No. 7 - March 12, 2008

Good afternoon Coffee Club members. We have no comment on what follows. As always, any similarity to persons actually living or events actually happening is strictly coincidental.

TR: Good afternoon. Are you Ashley Dupre?
AA: Who are you?
TR: I’m the Timid Reporter. I have an appointment.
AA: They didn’t call me about it. Are you with the media?
TR: Sort of, yes. It’s the Coffee Club Newsletter.
AA: Well, I can’t talk to you. My lawyer said I shouldn’t talk to anyone unless he said so and until he collected a fee upfront first.
TR: I thought we could just talk off the record for my readers.
AA: Do you have any money? How many readers do you have?
TR: Eight.
AA: Well - you sort of look homeless. I don’t know….
TR: I live in a very tiny apartment.
AA: That’s the same thing.
TR: You are very pretty.
AA: Thank you.
TR: Your apartment is wonderful and spacious.
AA: You know I won’t talk about Mr. Spitzer.
TR: That’s ok. I already talked to him yesterday.
AA: Do my eyes look bad?
TR: You have gorgeous eyes. No wonder he couldn’t resist you.
AA: Don’t try that on me. I refuse to talk about it.
TR: Could I have a beer?
AA: Sorry but I don’t drink beer. I tried to live a clean life, start a career, you know, but people just wouldn’t leave me alone.
TR: I like the CD you’re playing. Who is it?
AA: That’s my most recent demo.
TR: It’s beautiful. May I sit down?
AA: Sure - over there in my dining area.
TR: Have you heard from him?
AA: No, not at all. And he hasn’t written either. I saw his press conferences – I must have replayed them a hundred times over.
TR: Did you fall in love with him?
AA: My lawyer said I shouldn’t talk about anything.
TR: Even off the record?
AA: I know I shouldn’t trust you.
TR: I wouldn’t publish anything bad.
AA: As long as you’re not going to print anything, maybe I can unwind a little. Would you like some orange juice?
TR: If you put tequila in it, yes.
AA: Why do you drink on the job? I never did – against the rules. Anyhow, I don’t have any liquor in the apartment.
TR: Don’t tell me you’re one of those health people?
AA: There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m a vegetarian and I don’t apologize for it.
TR: Sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.
AA: Well, you started to sound a little judgmental….
TR: You have the look of a woman deeply in love.
AA: How would you know? You have no idea.
TR: I can see how all this business with the Governor happened. It wasn’t just the money was it?
AA: I said I wouldn’t comment on it and I’m not going to. I’m not drunk you know. Besides, People Magazine has exclusive rights. My lawyer told me so.
TR: It would be nice if my readers could just get something new from the source – something nobody else knows about you.
AA: Tell them I like doing yoga.
TR: Other than that.
AA: I’m sorry but I have to save all the juicy stuff for after the trials and stuff.
TR: What’s the one thing you care about most?
AA: Him.
TR: Beautiful.
AA: Don’t print that.
TR: I won’t.
AA: My music is my life. It’s something you can’t touch but it affects you deeply – like love.
TR: I understand.
AA: I don’t think you do.
TR: Are you worried you’ll become another Monica?
AA: No. I’m smarter than that. People think they know what this is about. They have no idea. I have feelings. This is not about celebrity. I’ve been sitting by the phone for three days.
TR: He hasn’t called?
AA: I know he can’t. I’ll get over it somehow. I’m going back to school. I’ll need to concentrate on something else. A friend of mine has a little villa in Spain. I can unwind there until they call on me. I’ll meet someone new.
TR: A bullfighter?
AA: No, no, no. That sport is not for me. I’ll find someone nice and sweet and sophisticated and rich. You’ll have to go now. I’m getting sleepy.
TR: Thank you so much.